Gabriel turns Two: Happy Birthday Sweet Boy

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Birth Preparation: A Poem


The Birth Kit's arrived
We've collected most items we'll need for her arrival
I've spent hundreds of dollars on picture frames and rearranged my decorations in a flurry of nesting
I've even dusted my dresser
Tomorrow her crib arrives
And Nika reads the birth book, ooing and awwing over the picture where the baby's head is peeking out of the naked Mama
Gabriel plays peekaboo with my belly
And David puts together a bookshelf for me, high enough to keep postpartum snacks out of toddler's reach
I've gone to prenatal yoga and therapy
Said my prayers
Opened a little more to

I brought some childhood pictures down from the attic and let them join my family
I practice breathing
Occasionally I remember to do kegals
And now I wait
Anticipation enjoyable, mostly
Eager to meet her, hold her close and whisper I love you
Dreading the soreness and fatigue, the days and needs blending
Enchanted, in-love, longing to know her;
A friendship that will cost me, transform me, draw me closer to God
To myself

My children my gift, my price, my spiritual fire
Burning away what's false or not useful
Purifying my heart
Lighting my life
Giving light to my spirit

I surrender my expectations, at least in theory
And loving her, I wait for her to come
Shatter everything
Til the Great Letting Go
Participating Love
I give
I am
She is
God IS

I wait

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Insomnia Better with Friendship

Each time I become more than six months pregnant, I develop predictable insomnia; it hits about three hours after I go to sleep and lasts from 20 minutes to four hours, possibly my body getting overly psyched up for being up at strange hours nursing, or otherwise persuading a brand new baby that night is actually night. Although surely I've gone way overboard, since I myself am not so convinced about that anymore!

Last time I was pregnant and awake during the ordained time for sleep, I spent the sacred time tossing and turning resentfully. In the final weeks of my pregnancy I waddled upstairs and created and some paintings, figuring at least if I did some constructive at night I wouldn't be down on myself for sleeping half the day away.

Sleeping half the day away is no longer a viable option with two kids, one of whom is blossoming into a full-fledged toddler...and all that that entails. Being creative is theoretically appealing. But the situation is so serious, so depressing in and of itself -- the dread of upcoming fatigue, the lack of seratonin produced on sleepless nights, that working away at possible masterpieces is not truly appealing.

So instead, I call my best friend who lives three hours earlier in California, just as her nighttime cell minutes kick in and the sky in neighborhood turns purple velvet in anticipation of the morning. And we talk and laugh about life, theology, coffee, peeing and everything in between, until it is time for us to go to bed at the same time - sort of. It's all relative, according to Einstein. And we feel God, whoever she is, stretching out the space and time, permeating our hearts across the distance with the gift of genuine, well-aged friendship.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Top 3 Fundamental Proofs that God is a Woman

(or at least a hermaphrodite)

1. You have to be born again the Holy Spirit (Spirit is feminine in Hebrew, and besides, we all know which sex gives birth.)

2. God's top two New Testament characters (Jesus & Paul) both expressed maternal instincts (okay also predilections for chicken metaphors,) as signs of their affiliation with God's character.

3. Just look at God's mood swings throughout the bible.


Friday, March 02, 2007

Stuff with the same or higher rating than President Bush

Fruitcake Polling Higher Than Bush
EATING IT Tough to swallow
According to the latest CBS News poll, the president's overall approval rating has dipped to 28 percent—the lowest number in his presidency and dangerously close to Nixon's all-time low of 24 percent. To lend a little context to this historic feat, we found some other people and things with equal or greater popularity.


Boxer Briefs

Kelly Osbourne

Body Hair on Guys


A Wall Along the Mexican Border

Text Message Flirting


Cottage Cheese



Brussels Sprouts (51%)

Coke Zero (41%)

Hillary Duff (52%)

Jennifer Love Hewitt (36%)

Fruit Cake (40%)

Kevin Federline (45%)

Rosie O'Donnell on The View (46%)

Crocheting (72%)

Fishing (49%)

Legalizing Prostitution (58%)

The Dentist (45%)


Hanson (53%)

In-Laws (68%)

Figs (76%)

The Name "Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt" (29%)

Ciara's Goodies (55%)

The Pussy Cat Dolls (56%)

Ryan Seacrest (60%)

Spiceworld (57%)

MTV VJ John Norris (35%)

The Barenaked Ladies (73%)

Russian Pop Duo T.A.T.U. (58%)

The "Dude, You're getting a Dell!" Guy (42%)

The Backstreet Boys (66%)

Nickelback (57%)

Sum 41 (63%)

Hootie & The Blowfish (84%)

Stepping in Dog Shit (35%)

Walking in the Rain Without an Umbrella (60%)

Small Breasts (50%)

Getting Kicked in the Balls (41%)